Some 12 years ago, I had been married for eighteen years – happily for the most part; and we had two wonderful sons. I had recently completed a Masters of Business Administration with a Business Psychology major.
In an effort to be kind, my ex-wife made an appointment for us together with a councilor so that I would have support when she made the announcement that for her, our 20 year relationship was over.
She told me she did not want to be married anymore but wanted to explore parts of her personality that she had missed out on in her youth. She was not willing to undertake counselling in an attempt to save our marriage, and nothing I was to say or offer over the following months would change her mind. I was shocked and devastated.
Once the pain of the relationship breakdown had started to fade, I decided that the partnership of relationship was important to me, and I wanted to find a new relationship. The problem was that the whole dating scene was completely different – much had greatly changed in twenty years.
The situation was both exciting and daunting. I was not sure about how to approach the opportunity. I had a look at the different dating websites available at the time. Then as now these varied in their format but did not provide much in the way of ideas as to how to use these opportunities effectively in an ordinary life, or how to create a processes or strategy in this new paradigm. What was offered was the opportunity to:
Fill in a profile
Fill in a guide in a as to what you would like in a partner.
The website would then suggest some likely matches from the results of these two forms.
This was not enough for me. I wrote my own successful process and found the love of my life. I have since helped many others to do the same. The book and website was written at the suggestion of people I assisted to develop their own successful process for finding a partner.
An important part of this was breaking subconscious past relationship patterns and learning how to look and truly see and understand attributes that you like, and those you don’t. This always was more than just reading and learning. The doing and learning was the most critical part of the relationship journey.