Possible traps with long email exchanges

Man-using-computerSam was a well-paid programming consultant. He went through the normal dating website process. Send an expression of interest, get a response. Then send an email. The twist was that the lady in question was not in Australia but was returning to Australia to Sam’s major city home in a few months after completing a work contract. So the email exchange began. This was at least one email a day both ways for three months. Sam believed that the relationship was progressing well. When the time came for her to return to Australia Sam offered to give a lift from the Airport and the use of his spare room while she organised a place to live.

What was strange was once they hugged had a peck on the cheek at the airport. That was the end of any communication She just wasn’t interested. She stuck to her room, went to work and regularly went out on dates. When Sam asked how a date went she became accusatory and said to stop stalking her and to mind his own business.

So what was going on here? Apart from the bad manners it is likely that Rachel through the email writing process developed her own reality regarding the email relationship. When she finally got to meet Sam and he was different from her created expectation she thought ah well, somewhere to stay and at least I know he is decent.

To avoid the likelihood of this happening keep your emails brief, to the point and ideally no more than three exchanges. The purpose of emails are to move you safely to a phone conversation, then to a possible face to face meeting

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